Bargain Jewess

Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

There’s a widespread mentality in certain Jewish circles that being on the cutting edge of fashion and style is not in the confines of tznius- the Jewish dictates of modesty. In my years in bais yaakov teachers went so far as to tell us that being on the cutting edge of fashion was clearly against the laws of tznius. That a girl who was dressed extremely attractive was drawing unnecessary attention to herself. I was told that this rule also applied to sweatshirts or t-shirts with chest logos and even dark nail polish. All of these things fell under the guise of what is know as prust or improper for the Jewish girl/woman.

I’ve veered pretty far away from that line of thinking and most of those people today would definitely call me a shiksa in my jeans and tichels/hats/occasionally sheitel and they really would have run the other way if they met me in my non-hair covering phase. Although I’m certainly no halachic authority, I went to bais yaakov after all(where they teach you just enough to get your MRS) and I certainly hope no takes this as any psak or halachic ruling I would like to speculate on this further, especially as this seems to a topic on many of my fellow j-bloggers minds……

A Jewish woman is considered a princess in Hebrew, a bas melech. The daughter of a king would only be kitted in the finest of fashions and of course would set the fashion tone for the entire country. She of course would never be dressed in any way that would disrespect her father the king but she certainly would always be expected to look more beautiful and put together than anyone else in the kingdom. The same goes true for the Jewish princess.

I honestly feel that an orthodox Jewish women should always be as fashionable and as classy as possible. There are many ways to look fantastic without baring it all. In general the women I find the most elegant are those who choose to cover it up rather than let it all hang out. Obviously just because you wear a skirt doesn’t mean that you are classy, or elegant I have seen many pants that are more modest that certain skirts. I’m also not here to get into debates on pants, short sleeves, how you cover your hair or any of that sort thing, in my opinion each person must do what they feel comfortable doing and it is between them and God.

Yet I think that each Jewish woman and all women should think of themselves as a princess and therefore there is nothing wrong with wearing stylish fashionable clothes so long as they aren’t thigh high and cut down to the belly button. I think that if you dress stylishly but elegantly you are still tzanua and in no way breaking any tznius code. I think that when people tell you otherwise they are steering you away from looking and feeling your best.

As a Jewish princess you should buy the best clothes you can afford, the best head coverings and conduct yourself with grace and class. There is no one in the world that will argue with you that you are not tznius if you follow those rules.

In a related albeit different topic I see many ads and in store displays showing head covering styles popular among Jewish women. In this month’s Vogue there is a Ralph Lauren ad showing a woman wearing a chasidic style turban, but Ralph’s real surname is Lipschitz after all and he grew up in the 50′s in the Bronx he probably saw plenty of those. I was also recently in Zara and I saw a mitpachat style tichel on a mannequin’s head, this could also be due to all the Muslims in Spain but I’d rather think that this is the influence of the stylish Brooklyn and Israeli chicas rocking the mitpachat.

I think that it’s important to remember that what narrow minded people tell you isn’t always halacha, and that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman.

When I came home on Wednesday night and found out about the Mumbai terrorist attacks I was horrified. As I looked at the information my heart ached for those there experiencing such chaos and utter terror. Hearing that the Chabad rabbi and his family were missing brought the tragedy home as I looked at his kind smiling face, I suddenly realized that what was happening was actually really close to home. When you can see the face of a victim, a living tangible human being, things become that much more real. Although I knew what was going on, not seeing faces or images made it seem awful but very, very faraway. I suddenly felt a real true connection to this human being and I began to pray in my own words that God should spare his and his wife’s life. I probably should have been praying for everyone so forgive me for that, but I prayed for what seemed real.

After hearing that unfortunately both the Rabbi and his wife had been killed, along with many others I felt sick. At first I was angry and rightly so but I realized that anger needs to be channeled into good. Anger gets us nothing but fighting and hatred. I realized that we all need to rise above anger and turn tragedy into our growing experience. It saddened me that it took a tragedy to bring all types of Jews together, but also made me happy to see all the solidarity among various different Jews. It made me want to expand on that. In memory of the Holtzbergs, I am taking upon myself to stop judging, critiquing or looking at my fellow Jews with derision or scorn. We are all one family. In the world today it so important to love each other whatever our beliefs or methods for finding God. Every time I think an unkind thought I will think of the Holtzbergs and their amazing commitment to Judaism and Jewish values. I will bite my tongue and try not to think these things. I urge you all to join me and actively participate in a campaign to love one another.

Am Yisrael Chai